blah blah boys

My wonderful Neal is here, and the city welcomed him with beautiful weather and a rooftop BBQ out in Crown Heights. I had such a great time at the BBQ, made some quality time with Tyler, ate the most delicious meat done up Brazilian churrascaria style, and met lots of great, chill, people. I also drunk a ton of tequila and mescal in the burning sun and almost went down for an hour in the early evening: danger danger!

I danced for a while with a boy named Asmani; it was so fun. When he was leaving he said goodbye to me about three times and I didn't want him to leave, but I also didn't want to experience the gross rejection of last weekend. In the end my boy craziness won out over my fear of rejection, and I gave him my number. I hope he calls me!

About Joe, I don't know what to do, and I was hoping to do nothing. Like stop making and answering text messages. I was thinking that we would just naturally dissolve since I'm going away on Thursday and then he's going on tour when I get back. But it seems we have graduated from texting to calling, and today he called me to invite me over for dinner. I still think I can do nothing, since I have no intention of seeing him before I leave. Above all, I want to not hurt his feelings. Maybe it's not as grave as it seems, and he just wants to fuck fuck fuck, the way we started this little thing that has stretched on for almost a month now. And that's just the thing: it's a thing, right? We're not dating. I'm kind of dying to use the line "We're not dating, so I don't have to break up with you, right?"