patience, newest crush

With a loving reminder from Papa, I am practicing patience this week. It has worked out really well. The first example was when this chick I was out with on Friday started freaking out about losing her credit card at a bar and was about to rush home to cancel it, when I advised her to be patient, and went through her purse for her and found it. I was rewarded with booze. The second example was when the barbecue we were going to got canceled due to a fire, and we were about to rush off somewhere else to barbecue, but we decided to wait, and the Q was reinstated and we were rewarded with booze, brews, and burgers.

I am also practicing being patient with boys, but it is hard. Part of me wants to get back on the craigslist dating circuit, but the other part of me remembers that I don't really operate that way--although I've certainly tried. Last night I wasn't going to go out. I was tired as hell and I thought my liver could use a rest from the previous night's tequila assault, but I also kind of wanted to put some space between me and my current couchsurfer, who is staying with me until WEDNESDAY. I don't usually like people to stay with me for more than 3 nights, but he seemed to really need a spot. The thing is, he's kind of a strange duck and I'm not sure how to deal with him. I mean, what are you supposed to do when a bespectacled dude shows up--mid-thirties, lives with his dad, and hands you a comic book called "Boobie Biter?" I guess my response is, "Make yourself at home. See you later."

Actually, the real reason I agreed to goto the not-burned-down barbecue in Bed-Stuy was because Neighbor's boyfriend told me that Tyler would be there. I met Tyler two or three weeks ago, the day after my golden birthday smackdown, at someone else's birthday, also associated with Neighbor's boyfriend. I don't think that I was into him at first but then I found myself trying to impress him and simultaneously act indifferent and actually kind of hostile, and this schizophrenic treatment was because I wanted him to like me. This realization always grosses me out, particularly when it incites this weird behavior in me for no apparent reason--i.e., I didn't understand why I found him interesting. Maybe it was because Neighbor told me that she thought I'd like him, and also that he had a boring girlfriend that he was looking to get rid of. I like to be a catalyst for change.

Anyhow, I'm glad we got to hang out last night. I put on a dress and was on my worst whiskey-drinking behavior. I was being especially antagonistic, and we argued about everything from the baseness of human nature to exclusionary religious practices. Have I mentioned before how much I hate it when guys just sit there like bobbleheads and agree with everything I say? There is something about stubbornness that is a real turn-on for me, as idiotic as that sounds. Of course there's a fine line between having convictions and just being narrow-minded, but I admire people who stick by their guns. It makes them more interesting to me.

So, obviously, I have a crush on this young man, but I'm not in the mood to chase or obsess, so I'm just going to be patient, and trust that he will continue to make appearances in my life until the time is right. I got time.