scralifornia! or 2008: the year of total...something

At the last minute, I decided to drive up to San Francisco a little early to ring in 2008, a year for which I have very good feelings. After an extravagant meal with my glorious family, I charged up to the old apartment and spent 12 hours in my current most favoritest 1-mile radius in the entire world.

Here's an hour-by-hour breakdown of what transpired last night:

10:30 pm: Arrive at my apartment, have hugs and kisses from Sleepwalker, Sharp, Girlfriend, Karim, Gina, and two of Girlfriend's buddies. Being around Karim makes me happy. All anxiety disappears. Take appropriate notice of updated hair styles, etc.

10:45 pm: While walking, tell Sharp about DJ E's assessment of me: The thing about Seriously is that she has all these 'disciples,' but nowhere to lead them.

11:00 pm: Arrive at the Ex's for the New Year's Eve party. He opens the door and gives me a wonderful hug. There are many hugs. Sleepwalker introduces me to her friend Max who proclaims, "I know you! You're on my fridge!"

11:30 pm: Sharp and Girlfriend leave, but I don't go with them.

Midnight: 2008 kisses with friends. Sleepwalker is love-hammered and keeps telling us how much she loves us: "But seriously, guys? You guys are the best! Oh man! I love you guys!"

1:20 a.m.: Girlfriend reappears with her buddies. Ex is instructed to take her to his room to lay down.

1:30 a.m.: Sleepwalker stands, falls over immediately. Gina and I have to practically carry her the six blocks to her house. On this treacherous walk, which Gina does in heels, she tells me that she fell over chasing Girlfriend down the block as she ran away. This concerns me, but Gina is sure that Girlfriend is safe at the Apartment, sleeping.

2:10 a.m.: Back at Ex's, we have a soul dance party.

2:45 a.m.: I have a nice cigarette break with Ex. He wants to have some one-on-one time later in the week, and this makes me happy. He's irritated with his 20-year-old sister, who is there tonight.

3:00 a.m.: I talk to the Ex's little sister. She is crying over a fight with her brother, claiming wildly that Ex loves me more than her. She says he's mean, that he can't express his love, and that she misses her other brother, who really loves her. It takes me almost an hour to calm her down. It doesn't help that she's drunk.

3:55 a.m.: In line for the bathroom, I see a guy that I used to date in Chicago named Greg. The last time I saw him was on an airplane about two years ago. I ask how his wife is doing. It's not Greg after all, but Cutie, a Greg look-alike I used to have a crush on about six years ago, back when he was roommates with Ex.

4:05 a.m.: I like Cutie's little brother. But Cutie is claiming to remember how many times we sat on the couch next to each other and almost made out. I don't remember this at all.

4:20 a.m.: I am making out with Cutie and dancing.

4:50 a.m.: Cutie and I are roaming around San Francisco smoking Parliaments.

5:15 a.m.: Back at the apartment, I realize that Cutie and I don't really have a place to occupy. There is a guy sleeping on the couch, and did I mention that Girlfriend is missing? I frantically dial Gina and ask what Girlfriend is wearing, since her shoes are there, and her phone.

5:16 a.m.: The door next to Girlfriend's opens and Love Affair pokes his beautiful head out. I didn't realize he was even in town. He says he found Girlfriend passed out in the bathroom several hours ago. Cutie says she is no longer in the bathroom. Love Affair straggles out of his room. I wonder briefly if he has someone in there with him.

5:18 a.m.: I hug Love Affair and kiss him on the cheek.

5:22 a.m.: Love Affair finds Girlfriend crumpled into a weird upright position, covered with a blanket, in the corner of another roommate's room.

6:00 a.m.: Getting whiskey-dicked by Cutie in my roommate's bed. Trying not to make noise, because Love Affair is in the next room, separated by not even a wall, but French doors. Pretending that Cutie is Love Affair.

7:00 a.m.: Falling asleep, trying not to think about anything. Falling asleep naked with someone for the first time since leaving San Francisco...and now I'm back in San Francisco. Why can't I have sex in New York?

8:50 a.m.: I can't sleep. I'm paranoid that my roommate will come home from wherever she is and freak out that I'm naked with some guy in her bed.

9:15 a.m.: I get out of the shower and go into the kitchen to look for coffee, and Love Affair is awake, making himself a breakfast croissant. We sit out in the sun for a few moments and I ask him if he wants to go to Monterey for our road trip to stay with Ex's little sister.

9:35 a.m.: I go for coffee with The Dog. We walk to the park. I love San Francisco. California makes me happy. There is so much energy, so much idealism, so much innocence and hope...